How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
