i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
