I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
