Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
