Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
