He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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