butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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