So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
