This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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