just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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