thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
