We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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