3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
