He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
