I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
