would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
