Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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