community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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