He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
