3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
