Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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