she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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