of course. lets lasso hookers.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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