Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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