i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
