This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
