Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
