I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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