fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize