People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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