Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
