If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
