sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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