So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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