I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
