i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
