Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
