just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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