i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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