I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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