The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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