when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
