So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
