i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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