What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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