yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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