How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
