i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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