Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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