Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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