my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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