belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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