You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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