Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
