Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
