Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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