i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
