so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
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I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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