If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
