i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
