When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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