i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
