She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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