my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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