god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
