Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize