I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
