I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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