p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
