i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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