The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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