Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
