i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
