I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
