ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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